Matt Artisan is a leading dating coach and top dating expert. He is the CEO of The Attractive Man, the legendary dating program for men, based on his understanding of women and psychology. Artisan has helped his clients to transform and feel empowered to create authentic relationships.
Where did you grow up and what was your childhood like? Did you have any particular experiences/stories that shaped your adult life?
I grew up in Greensboro, North Carolina and at the age of 8 I approached the first girl that I had a crush on. She was in the same grade as me and I remember being nervous to say ‘hi’ to her. But one day I built up the courage to walk up to her, and with the advice of my mother, I gave her a red rose that we cut from our garden that morning. She looked at me in shock and ran away. It was at that moment I concluded that girls don’t like me, which became a recurring theme in my life for a long time until I did something about it.
What is something you wish you would’ve realized earlier in your life?
I wish that I would have realized that beautiful women love to be approached, they love to be complimented, and they love to be appreciated by a man who has no ulterior motives. I wish I would have known you didn’t need to use lines, tricks, or memorized routines to “impress” them. But that was the journey that I needed to go through to come out the other end an authentic, confident man.
What are bad recommendations you hear in your profession or area of expertise?
The #1 recommendation I hear other “dating coaches” say is, “Never show your interest for her because it gives away your power.” Come on, that is such horrible advice and it’s 100% false. If you approach women in a confident, charming way, like how I show guys to do in our live workshops, then it actually shows your power and confidence as a man and it can deeply turn her on within seconds when you do it the right way.
Tell me about one of the darker periods you’ve experienced in life. How you came out of it and what you learned from it?
In high school I decided to learn guitar and start a band in order to get girls. In college my band started getting really good and we started playing a lot of shows in Los Angeles, where I moved after college. We got so big that we were on MTV2, toured with Linkin Park, and won Performer of the Year at the LA Music Awards. Because of the success, I was able to attract a lot of beautiful women and they seemed to love my identity as a rock star.
But when my band broke up, I was devastated. I felt like my identity was gone and my “cool factor” was missing. I had no idea how to meet women and I thought there was no way that beautiful women would like me without my rockstar identity.
Then I searched around and I found some “Pickup Bootcamps” in LA and my skills and confidence increased and I found my true purpose and calling, as an international dating coach traveling around the world meeting women and teaching other’s how to do the same.
What is one thing that you do that you feel has been the biggest contributor to your success so far?
Being obsessed with my purpose of helping one million guys around the world master the skill of meeting women in everyday situations and becoming the best version of themselves in the process. It’s that obsession that drives me to move forward every day.
What is your morning routine?
- 8 am – Wake up and meditate for 10 minutes, visualize my goals for 3 minutes, write down or look at my goals for a few minutes
- 8:30am – Drink coffee and my “elixir” consisting of lemon juice, water, apple cider vinegar, cinnamon, and cayenne pepper.
- 9 am – 11 am – Get some work done
- 11am – Stretch, jump, lift heavy weights for an hour and then take a cold shower.
- 12 pm or 1 pm – Eat a healthy meal
What habit or behavior that you have pursued for a few years has most improved your life?
Learning the skill and mindset of approaching women during the day (street, mall, coffee shop, etc.) has most improved my life because it taught me discipline, how to master my mind, resilience, confidence, charisma, and has given me more fun and adventures than anything else.
What are your strategies for being productive and using your time most efficiently?
Get clear on your goals and then become obsessed with them. We are all obsessed with something and most of us are obsessed with things that are not good for us. If you can get obsessed with your goals and focus on them every day then you will love the process and do what needs to be done no matter what to achieve your dreams.
What book(s) have influenced your life the most? Why?
These books influenced me the most because I was really shy and introverted in high school and college and always seemed to strike out with women all 3 of these books helped me see some of the things that I was doing wrong, when it comes to dating and being a man, and overcome some of those challenges.
Do you have any quotes you live by or think of often?
I love the quote, “There are two ways to become excellent with women. One is to become an excellent manipulator. The other is to become an excellent man.” Unfortunately, a lot of dating coaches in my field teach the first method, which only gets you so far.