Where did you grow up and what was your childhood like? Did you have any particular experiences/stories that shaped your adult life?

I grew up in Hyde Park, a residential neighborhood in Boston. At the time, we were one of the first black families to move into the area so it naturally bought some challenges growing up. My parents are originally from Jamaica and as a first-generation and only American-born child in my family, there were a lot of expectations to make the best of my circumstances. My parents did so much to make sure I had a great childhood and pushed me hard to do well in school. I did and with those accolades came a lot of unwanted attention. Saying I got bullied a lot in school is an understatement. It definitely affected my self-esteem and led me down a path toward always seeking validation from others. When I was able to get away from that, what made my childhood so special and allowed me to have some freedom were the summers when I got to stay in Jamaica with my aunt and grandmother. There, I was able to really know where I came from and have fun spending time with family members. That was some of the most fun I had growing up. When I got back to school, it would take a few weeks to lose my Jamaican accent. It was great.

What is something you wish you would’ve realized earlier in your life?

“I am enough to live the life I want.” This was something I struggled with in my childhood and well into my adult years. My biggest fear was not being enough –– a son, a father, a husband, a businessman, a coach, a friend, the list goes on. I’m sure if I really accepted myself and knew I was enough at that time, my life may have taken a totally different trajectory –– who knows.

What are bad recommendations you hear in your profession or area of expertise?

“You can be happy after you’re successful.” So much of my life was dictated by this story. I did everything I could to reach the level of success I thought I needed and when I got there, it didn’t feel as amazing as I thought and I wasn’t happy at all. From there, it turned into an emotional free fall. If you look, there are so many stories of people –– maybe someone you know –– who reached amazing levels of success and were depressed. Why should we wait until we’re successful to be happy? Why can’t we be happy now? Why do we need to sacrifice one for the other? When I questioned the very story that ruled my life, what opened up was a whole different way of being where happiness was possible without sacrificing success.

Tell me about one of the darker periods you’ve experienced in life. How you came out of it and what you learned from it?

After reaching the peak of my first coaching business, The Professional Wingman, I felt an emptiness I couldn’t explain. I didn’t feel fulfilled and wasn’t happy. Not having any place or tools to process and understand what I was going through, I keep it all inside instead, leading me into a deep depression, filled with escapism, alcohol, and drugs. 

I was on the verge of losing everything in my life, including my actual life, until my wife told me she needed things to change in our marriage. It was at that moment I realized I couldn’t go any further in my life by myself, made the decision to seek outside support, which began my next transformational journey. It started with therapy, then hiring my own coach, leadership weekends, men’s groups, personal trainers, quitting alcohol, fellowship groups, and other programs, and soon enough, it led me out of the dark.

The biggest lesson I’ve learned is this life is one I’m meant to live and everything happens for me, not to me. I clearly had to go through what I did, in order to come out the other side. Today, I get to share my story in hopes someone reading this, who might be in a similar place, can see it’s possible to get out of the dark not only live an amazing life and but also be successful.

What is one thing that you do that you feel has been the biggest contributor to your success so far?

The biggest contributor has been prioritizing my joy. Even after I was able to get out of my dark period and be a better person, I still wasn’t having fun. I knew if I didn’t find my joy, it would be only a matter of time before I’d go right back to that dark place. So allowing myself to experience my first joy, video games, not only saved my life, but also helped me see that without joy, success becomes empty for me. So today, I live a joy-based lifestyle without sacrificing success. And the best part is this guarantees long-term happiness in a way I never thought possible.

What is your morning routine?

I wake up between 6 and 630AM each day. I get my feet on the ground and say to the Universe “use me as you may, and give me something back.” I head downstairs and do 40 pushups, 20 v-crunches, and 20 Russian twists to wake my body up and get my blood moving. Right after that, I do a meditation to clear any toxic energies and power up for the day. Then, I journal, reflecting on a moment from the past day that incited a big emotion, positive or negative. This allows me to see whether or not the emotion is from a story I have that’s serving my life positively, and, if not, create a new story that can in the future. Once that’s done, I read a piece of content where I can learn something that can add value to my life and others. I spend some time with my family when they wake up, and, from there, I begin my day.

What habit or behavior that you have pursued for a few years has most improved your life?

My daily journal. That has, without a doubt, accelerated my personal transformation. Giving myself time to reflect on my life, seeing what I can learn, and how I can show up better has made all the difference in who I’ve become today.

What are your strategies for being productive and using your time most efficiently?

Structure and boundaries. My wife is also an entrepreneur and with a child, we also wanted to make sure we spent a lot of time with her as possible in the early years. So we’ve essentially split our week where most mornings, my wife works, and most evenings, I work. With the limited time, it’s important that everything that I get to do is on my calendar. If it’s not in there, it’s not happening, including things like playing video games, date night with my wife, or even a playdate with my daughter. It all goes in there so I don’t have to think about it.

After that, then it’s holding the boundaries of that time. For example, I do not work on Sundays, something I’ve done for over 12 years. I let my clients know and every once in a while, I’ll see a message from my client pop up on my phone on a Sunday, which is totally fine because that may be the time for them to respond to messages –– but it’s not mine. When I hold those types of boundaries, it extends to other parts of my life and allows me to live more peacefully and within my capacity.

What book(s) have influenced your life the most? Why?

7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey. I read that book during my sophomore year in college and it completely shifted my communication skills and the idea of interdependence. I didn’t realize it then but it ended up helping me a ton today.

Be The Man by Garrett White. This book totally called me out on the way I was being and living as a businessman, father, and husband. When I was deep in the dark, this book helped me realize I had a way out toward the light.

Letting Go: The Pathway of Surrender by David Hawkins. This is actually the last book I’ve read in the past 2+ years. It gave me the opportunity to learn how letting go allows me to receive the most out of life and how emotions not only carry different levels of spiritual energy but also impact mine and other’s thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Learning acceptance changed my life.

Do you have any quotes you live by or think of often?

“One day at a time.” Sometimes, it’s one moment at a time. Nothing is guaranteed except for this moment. When I think beyond this moment, I’m not being present and missing out on the magic that is right now. When I keep things to just one day, so much of my life becomes that much simpler and most importantly, manageable.

“Don’t f*ck with the rainbow.” This was told to me recently by my therapist and it clicked immediately. A rainbow is so special because it has every color, when combined, creates pure white light. The moment you take a color away, you lose the rainbow and white light. It’s so easy to want to change things about ourselves or the way things are but when we try to control fewer things and appreciate more of what’s present, there’s a new experience you get to have that makes life so much more vibrant and light. The way there is to stop messing with the rainbow.

“There is no dark without light.” I always used to think that darkness or being the dark was a bad thing. And worse, I couldn’t talk about it. Without the dark, how would we know there’s light? Plus, light can’t really be acknowledged without darkness. We go through many ups and downs and those downs are where I’ve realized the true magic exists so I embrace the dark, knowing there’s light somewhere and it’s up to me to find it.